Posted by: Sarah | September 1, 2005

what do you say?

even if I stay offline and keep the television off, the stories of the misery from Katrina just keep coming in anyway. Janette and Rebecca have told me so many stories from their friends and family about conditions on the Coast and in New Orleans that I really can’t even remember them all, except as a vague horrifying nightmare. But it is beyond horrifying what is happening down there, and just makes me want to weep and weep for days on end.

As for my physical state, I’m doing pretty badly. I haven’t eaten since yesterday (no appetite and everything I try to eat is too smelly — we burned rice the other day and put the unburned portion in a Tupperware container. I tried to eat it but could only smell the phantom burned rice, so put it away.), I am tired of taking monstrously huge pills that make me gag, I sleep and sleep but wake up still exhausted even after taking ativans, and I’ve been throwing up, too. I’ll have to report that to the nurses when I go in a bit to get my shot, but I am just so tired, mentally and physically, that I don’t even know where to find the motivation to get up out of bed. And then Tom tells me “don’t go out driving, wasting gas,” and I just burst into tears because I’m not going out joyriding or anything frivolous, I am going to the damn oncologist’s to get a shot that might keep me from ending up in the hospital and then I’m going to go pick up some prescription refills that might keep me from having heart palpitations, nausea, and severe depression. Pout.

And the boys are SUPER cranky, too. I think they’re feeding off all the crazy nervous energy that’s coming off the adults.


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